It was a moment of hesitation as his number flashed on my phone screen. Do I answer?
I held my breath and hit the green telephone symbol, signifying that I would answer. I held my breath and waited for the familiar voice on the other line.
It had been ages since I heard his voice. Since my name had been on his lips. It had not been long enough because I could still feel the pain searing inside of my chest. He had left. He had disappeared into an endless, boundless night that I could not touch.
Now he was back?
It was still a question in my mind… it’s still a question in my mind.
Is he back?
How long until he leaves?
I feel pain still. But I feel something else: Strength. I will never allow myself to become so attached, so vulnerable because the truth is we all need a little hope. A little love to get us through the day. But more then these things.
We need to be independent and to find love within ourselves before giving it to others. So the best advice that I can give is this:
Don’t let fear conquer life. Travel in it’s direction. If we’re afraid of something then we must challenge ourselves and grow into something beautiful and endless together.
In my fear of love and vulnerability I found strength, freedom and independence.